Bucket List Addendum

I feel like there will be a good hearty handful of these added in the coming weeks/months/forever. Firstly, because my original bucket list was made in haste and never revised. Secondly, because (and as always) my flakiness knows no bounds and I can never figure out what it is I want my life to be and so I just plan on doing everything. Good theory, no?

Ok, on to the title. I wish to add the following as #s 52 and 53 respectively:

·         Read and watch all of “the classics.” Confession: I’ve never seen A Streetcar Named Desire or Casablanca. I’ve only seen parts of Meet Me in St. Louis but never Citizen Kane, or any of the good ones really. I know Gone with the Wind back and forth, upside down and sideways, word for word. It’s my favorite movie of ALL time and has been since I was tiny. I believe I was the only 5-year-old in existence to sit through the whole thing completely enthralled and then want to watch it again immediately after. I’ve been to the Margaret Mitchell house in ATL and I collect copies of the book (I have a copy I bought in London, one from the MM house, a copy from the 1940s that belonged to my Nana, and I’m on the prowl for more). I’ve even seen the West End production of GWTW in LDN (even though it was AWFUL). At any rate, the rest of the classics are simply off my radar and I am ASHAMED. It’s nothing short of sinful that watching/reading the classics is not part of my daily routine. I sure fill my time with plenty of other junk. (Junk tv, junk literature, junk movies, etc). I admit that I tend to get stuck in certain genres of everything, and never get out. Change + Melissa= stubborn and competitive bedmates. I never can make things easy for me. Enough rambling.

The first classic I’ll watch will be Breakfast at Tiffany’s because it’s on my mom’s Netflix queue and it’s easily accessible. The first classic book (was) Gone with the Wind. Notice  how I wait until now to confess that, until two weeks ago, I had never read it. I’m minimizing the shame of this because it’s just too much to bear. I’ve read my fair share of classic books, so I just tacked this on to the bucket list number to make sure I keep up the practice. The next book will be… ummmm… Anna Karenina because I actually have it and have begun to read it countless times and it’s time that I make myself do it. There.

·         Become a picker. Like, American Picker style. I’m about to start habits of rifling through abandoned buildings, scouring flea markets, crashing barn demolitions…. You don’t even know. I want old stuff. The more the better. My Uncle Jimmy has been digging up artifacts since as far back as I can remember. He has a whole room in his house dedicated to his findings. It was always a special treat to visit his “bottle room” when I was a kid, and you know what, I still sit in wonder at the sight of any kind of pure old junk. It’s gonna happen. I came across these old bottles the other day. They were just lying on the forest floor of the woods surrounding my house. Who knows what else is out there…

 

(The one to the far left is a glass Tropicana jar--- pretty legit, huh?)

One day I’m just going to hock up the courage to make my entire bucket list this: Disappear into the wilds of the unknown and live off the land.

Lord help me. I sound just like my DAD.

Cheers.

P.S. If my bucket list was displayed like so:

I might find it easier to take care of bidness. Or I'm just stalling... as usual.

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NY Reso. Recap Uno

Blog more. As previously mentioned, “more” is intentionally ambiguous. However, I find that I am simply brimming with things to write down for later bloggage, and I know I’ll get around to all of them eventually. And the “more” is coming easier, I think. I did start the NOLA BASH blog and I’m pretty darn proud of myself. Check her out. Two posts in one day, too! As for this little darling, I’ve planned how I’m going to stay on top of things by making yet another list. (If I had a dime for every list I’ve made… well you know the saying.) My list consists of 5 bullet points to help me stay focused. The first one is inspiration from one of my favorite food blogs where in 2011 the writer posted a montage once a week consisting of a food photo from every day of something she cooked, bought, stumbled upon, was especially aesthetically pleasing to her, etc., and I truly enjoyed following her journey. This year she kept the same montage a week but is capturing life photos instead of just food. I have a feeling mine will morph into some happy marriage of the two. For now, I’m sticking to food because one of my other resolutions (lose weight) is actually rolling along quite well (thanks in large part to this piece of prolific inspiration along with calorie counting and daily exercise) and I find that I want to catalog this edible voyage. My pictures (in quality, detail and consistency) aren’t up to par of shutterbean’s (the first link) but I’ll get there…

Week of Jan 1-8

(I’ll go ahead and confess now, I forgot to take pictures last Mon, Fri and Sat. So sue me.)

New Years Day Tradition. Obvi not low cal what with all the butter and bacon on everything, but I didn't start my resolution until the 2nd. =) And, I'll be damned if there's a Jan 1st that comes around and I don't eat black eyed peas, cabbage and my ma's ridiculously amazing cornbread. (Also, it was mom's birthday and my sister made a delectable dark chocolate raspberry cake with homemade butter cream icing... it was TOO sinful to post.)

1/3/2012 So healthy. I'm brimming with righteousness.

1/4/2012 Egg white omelet with spinach and Gorgonzola, a Cutie clementine, and a shot.5 of Naked Green Machine juice. Yum supreme breakfast.

1/5/2012 Dinner! Stir fried brown rice with veggies--- just the veggies at this point.

1/8/2012 Egg white muffins. My fillings of turkey sausage, cheddar cheese, green bell pepper, green onion and egg whites adapted from this recipe. I made these Sunday night and have been eating very well for breakfast so far this week (at only 55 calories a pop).

Like I said, my pictures are lacking at this point because I always forget to capture the moment and then hastily snap an iPhone pic with no regard for lighting or angles. I will improve.

I’ll also get to my other blogging bullet points later. Hang tight.

Cheers.

Melissa

Resolutions

Ahh... it's that time again. Confession: I've never stuck to a resolution in my life... ever. Shocker, I know, I actually AM just like everyone else. Impossible to believe, but true nonetheless.

Anyhow, I'm making them this year and, by God, I'm going to see (at least some) of them through.

I present the list:

1. Save (all my) $$. Without this step, nothing on the rest of the list can feasibly occur.
2. Lose weight. Yep, same every year. Damn it. It's going to happen.
3. Move to NOLA. Ok, this probably requires a separate post, but I'm going to just condense it here. Move to NOLA *permanently* and in my own place. That pretty much sums it up. I just need my own place.
4. Stop relying on Dad for backup. My Daddy has my back always-- but it's time that I give him a little reprieve. I need to completely stand on my own two size 9.5 feet.
5. Travel to a new place. Pretty self-explanatory.
6. Take piano lessons. I've wanted to be musical for quite some time, and I know that learning an instrument in adulthood is supposed to be rather difficult--- I'm doing it anyway.
7. Complete two bucket list items. I don't know which ones, but two of 'em.
8. Volunteer. I used to be a very active volunteer and I'm not quite sure what happened. I've been too selfish.
9. Fall in Love. So this is not really within my control, not something I can resolve to do, but it's there and there it will stay. C'mon 2012.
10. Blog, more. *More* is intentionally vague. Hey, this is an ambitious list as it is. I have to give myself some slack somewhere. Though, I truly do want and need to keep this one. (Also, watch out for the launch of NOLA BASH's blog. Yeah, I'm sadly and shamefully behind schedule on that too, but -- well no buts-- I'm me. It's what I do. Ok, one but, I DO have three posts already written just waiting to be published. So, hah!)
11. Man up on current events. It's too easy to ignore the world. I don't want to do that anymore.
12. Dress like Elsie Larson. Ok, basically BE Elsie Larson-- but me. Her style is unreal. Just go visit her blog (http://abeautifulmess.typepad.com/my_weblog/) and you'll see.


2011 was such a significant year. NOLA BASH was born and brought with it so many challenges and rewards. I had some tumultuous personal relationship moments (more than make me comfortable), and medical upsets. I uprooted, re-rooted, and finally settled to make a huge practical decision regarding my career. I grew even closer to my family. I'm hoping 2012 will be a year of creativity and personal and spiritual growth. Here's to hoping. Happy New Year!

Cheers!

To know me is to LOVE me...

WARNING: This little stream of consciousness will be “deeper”, if you will, than any previous musings. So, tag along if you want to see a tiny piece of my soul…

Weighing heavily on my every thought is the impending move to New Orleans. September 6^th is the big day and it cannot come soon enough—though, I would also feel blissfully content if it takes forever or never comes at all. I was supposed to head down there in late June/early July, but that damn medical hiatus forced upon me prevented that from happening. I’m not going to lie, while being sick was a pain in the ass, I was relieved that the move could be put off, and I catch myself at random times every day wishing for ways to prolong it even more.

            My sure-fire way of dealing with anything uneasy is to ignore it. I am really good at pretending that everything is right in the world and at choosing how to feel about any given situation. Up until this summer, those methods have worked really well for me. But it’s a half existence. I guess what I’m trying to say is that everything has changed, and that little “c word” is the star of this post.

Sometimes, somebody else has said words that so completely capture our exact feelings. It may be a cop out, but what can ya do? This is perfect.

"It’s funny how one summer can change everything. It must be something about the heat and the smell of chlorine, fresh-cut grass and honeysuckle, asphalt sizzling after late-day thunderstorms, the steam rising while everything drips around it… Something about fall being so close, another year, another Christmas, another beginning. So much in one summer, stirring up like the storms that crest at the end of each day, blowing out all the heat and dirt to leave everything gasping and cool. Everyone can reach back to one summer and lay a finger to it, finding the exact point when everything changed. That summer was mine." ~Sarah Dessen, That Summer.

I thought that summer for me was 2008- I had just come back from London after discovering myself and my inherent awesomeness, I turned 21, and I was preparing for the beginning of the end of my college career. I applied for the Peace Corps, and I thought I had it all figured out. Young and dumb. Then, I thought “that summer” was 2009. Everything really did change that summer, everything around me at least. I won’t go in to detail, but I’ll never get back the piece of me that was left there. It’s buried with the three remarkable women I lost. I’ve blocked out 2010 (as per my usual method). But this summer, 2011- it has been truly insightful. “That summer” has been this one.

I’m not naïve enough to believe that the changes I’m making are spontaneous, though I can credit their catalyst to one specific person. These changes have been a long time coming and sorely needed. I just hope everyone is on board with them because, true to fashion, I’ll be making them regardless of whom or what might want to stop me. Here’s a quick rundown of the tides that are a-turnin’ and the lessons I’ve only just begun to learn…

1. I can’t control everything, no matter how very much I want to. I couldn’t control my lung collapsing, nor the fact that I’m supposed to never scuba dive (though, I’ll end up doing it anyway—who really needs both lungs? Am I right?). I can’t control how people feel about me, or the things they do when I’m not around. I can’t even control how I feel about other people, especially when they are wholly unexpected and delightfully different from anything I’ve ever imagined. And I can’t do anything to the writers of TrueBlood who haven’t yet killed off Tara even though her character is supremely whiney and weak. You would think this is a lesson that could be learned by a 1^st grader--- but I’m stubborn and neurotic and I’m working on it. J
2. Courage is something that I have lacked for a very long time. I have always droned on and on about all the things I want to do and places I want to go, but thus far it’s all been just talk. Bullshit and talk. I’ve decided to grow a pair. I’m moving to New Orleans and I’m going to just do the damn thing. No more excuses, no more feeling sorry for myself, no more wishing I could be in two places at once. Doing amazing things requires sacrifices—and my sacrifice is to give up my ego in thinking that my friends and family can’t go on without me. Really, it’s I who will suffer without all of you. But… I’m working on it. J
3. It is ok to have fun. I don’t have to be “on point” all the time. I have been punishing myself for wasting my early adulthood completely wrapped up in a certain tool bag loser—and how have I been punishing myself? By wasting my 20s being wrapped up in the fact that I wasted my early adulthood. HAH! I want to be a stupid adolescent sometimes. I want that Hunter Thompson quote to be true for me (but maybe a little respectable, obvi): "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!" And I want to get a tattoo! (I know, I said I would never). This is the face of change people! Have fun… I’m working on it. J
4. I am a force of nature- I’ve always said it, but now I know that I need to cool it. I don’t have to force my will upon everyone (I guess this kind of goes with number 1) and everybody doesn’t have to see or do things the same way that I do. #MelissaYouAreNOTTheEndAllBeAllofEverything… I’m working on it. J
5. It’s ok to open up. I am a hardass, to most people anyway. And on the inside, I truly feel what I convey. But, occasionally I let a few people slip in. And it’s ok. And I should let it happen more often. The wall recently came crumbling down around me with a resounding crash. As expected, with my defenses weakened, I got hurt.  But I’m fine, and it actually felt good because I finally felt something. Melissa and emotions haven’t mixed well in the past, so I started to build the wall again. Fortunately, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to leave it only half constructed. Because its destruction didn’t just leave me open for invasion, it unleashed a part of me that I didn’t know existed. This part of me is a stranger. She’s a mess. She’s emotional and needy and (gasp) a girl… but letting her breathe feels nice. She needs to learn some self-control and maturity, but I think we’ll find a harmonious balance. And best of all, she loves. But that’s a post for another day. Letting people actually know me… I’m working on it. J
6. Patience. This is the hardest one. I’ve never had patience. Not with other people, or situations or even myself. I want everything to happen now and quickly. It’s absurd, really. And it’s another not-so-charmingly adolescent quality of mine. I guess patience is so hard for me because I’m scared of the end result. But, I need not be impatient with the pace of change. To let things happen naturally is right and beautiful. It may not all come out the way I desire, but I’ll be better for it. I CAN wait. I WILL be waiting…

I've recently felt so burdensome to a good number of people in my life- hence all of this reflective droning. I hate that feeling. I want to be a joy, not a hassle. However, a very good, even if sometimes-absent, friend spelled it out for me. I think I can come to terms with this... she said: {I don't think people are compelled to actively clear their lives in order to accommodate you. I think it's more that you give a LARGE dose of yourself (in a good way), and people don't want to half-ass you into their lives because it seems unfair. The give and take needs to be equal.} I hope that's true.

Being this intense all the time is exhausting. Of my six sweet little “works in progress,” I think I should focus on having fun for the time being. If I can just let go… then maybe the others will follow. Stand by… let me know if any of this progress is actually occurring or if I’m just completely delusional. Hah! CHEERS!

Girl's got gumption...

She’s baaaack. At the relentless insistence of certain people, I am back to blogging. I said in the first post that this was going to be a hard thing for me to stick to and I’m definitely proving myself right, but both I and this blog are works in progress. It just so happens that this post is going to be a great big CHEAT. I’m going to show you my very first personal column written when I was the Lifestyles editor of South’s student newspaper, The Vanguard.

I sincerely hope that I’m not too different from the girl that wrote this passionate, albeit very over-embellished, article. Enjoy…

Praise and Meditation

Last week I applied for an internship with National Geographic, and though I do not actually expect to be accepted as an intern- for there is only one position available and undoubtedly thousands of applicants far more qualified than I- I could not help but try to be the chosen one. I cannot let my fear of failure keep me from trying, for now I will get a definite answer either way.

It has been a dream of mine for years to work for the intensely cultural magazine, in order to surface stories about sacred tribal rituals, ancient ruins of our planet’s oldest civilizations, species of undiscovered animals and just the vast plethora of knowledge and experiences just waiting to be unearthed.

There is something so bewildering yet absolutely enthralling about the extreme expanse of things to know and places to go, and I find myself nearly bubbling over with an indescribable excitement about the possibility of exploring the earth and relaying my experiences through words to the awaiting public. National Geographic represents something so pure and great, and seems to keep the focus where it belongs; on people, their trials and their impact on the singular planet we have been blessed to inhabit though simultaneously destroy.

The thing about all this is that I want people to know how important it is to understand and value the earth and its many inhabitants. Although I cannot be the single informant that rids the world of its ignorance about the unknown, I can write whatever I have the privilege to experience, and to inspire in others the same passion about the earth that empowers me.

It is not for everyone to want to hop scotch from country to country, live amongst ‘uncontacted’ Peruvian tribes one day, and help to save leatherback sea turtles on the beaches of Costa Rica the next, but it only benefits us to pick up a book about a different place, tune into the travel channel or surf http://nationalgeographic.com to learn of the latest updates of worldwide culture.

I recently returned from a semester abroad in London, and I cannot say how many times people simply busted into a chorus of “Sweet Home Alabama” upon learning that I hailed from the Heart of Dixie, or how many times, to my utter horror, people asked if I had ever witnessed a lynching. To know that people in the world still view the South as an ill-educated, violently prejudiced culture is heartbreaking. However, to know that people around me view other cultures in the same light is equally painful.

So I say do something about it. Learning is so powerfully liberating, and not just the kind of learning required to earn a degree, but the kind one chooses to pursue on one’s own. Therefore, we should all strive for betterment. Learn about your own culture, and then branch out to the tens of thousands of others. Do not be afraid of the unfamiliar, for in seeking it you may find yourself.

I recently read in Vanity Fair that for Christmas, Brad Pitt bought Angelina Jolie a bookshelf containing volumes of books on the world’s religions. It is beyond incredible that two people who have and do so much and have been so many places still see the value of furthering their knowledge about different cultures. Of course we can’t all be humanitarian gods, adopting children from the four corners of the globe, but we can all follow their path of betterment through cultural education.

I am currently reading Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das, and I hope to venture into Hinduism next. It just never hurts to try and figure out what nobody else in my education has cared to teach me.

Needless to say, I never got the internship, but I do still love sea turtles and National Geographic. I actually never finished reading the book about Buddhism, nor did I move on to any other religion, at least not directly. I need to. I’m glad, though, to have given up on the idea of a journalistic career. I’m WAY too wordy and I love talking about myself too much. God bless a blog! But for real, how great was the line: “National Geographic represents something so pure and great, and seems to keep the focus where it belongs; on people, their trials and their impact on the singular planet we have been blessed to inhabit though simultaneously destroy.”?! Think about it. Cheers!

The BEST Diet

I meant to write this truly inspired post about the book I’ve most recently read, “Three Cups of Tea” by Greg Mortenson and David Relin. It is a book that everyone should absolutely read and I still intend to dedicate a very long/dreamy post about it, but I can’t quite bring myself to do it just yet. Right after I finished the book, I went through with a scheduled surgery that went horribly awry and blogging, along with everything else, went straight to the backburner.

During my time in ICU, “Three Cups of Tea” remained with me. I kept trying to remind myself that I was lucky to have this medical care available (no matter how intensely they tortured me) and that the pain I experienced was nothing compared to people all over the world that are truly tortured and maimed by landmines and the ravages of war. It worked about 7% of the time. Basically, I’m a huge baby and just wanted to wallow in my own misery.

Bottom line: tonsil extraction sucks hardcore; even more so when your lung collapses during surgery and a 1.5 inch chest tube gets inserted between the rungs of your rib cage in order to reinflate said limp lung. It becomes triple the suckage when you’re what the medical community calls a “hard stick” and your IV keeps going bad and the nurses have to call in specialists to thread a successful IV after they’ve already destroyed your veins in unsuccessful attempts. (Sidenote: I am now deathly terrified of IVs- like nightmare status.)

My recovery at home has entirely consisted of watching HGTV like it’s my job and tossing back the liquid loratabs. I barely eat and I sleep about 15 hours a day. I’m ready to have my life back and everyone who knows me knows that I have ZERO patience. I’m not a pleasant patient. Though, I could possibly be well on my way to satisfying yet another bucket list dweller—the one about the hot bod (hence the title of this post). I’ve lost 20 pounds (hurrah!). Let’s just see if I can keep it up. Doubtful.

Anyway, forgive my less than witty/funny repertoire, I’m on near-constant pain meds and I feel like it has sapped not only my energy but all of my personality as well. At random times during the day I find myself standing in the middle of the kitchen gazing out the window at nothing, my mouth slightly ajar- with possibly some drool seeping out, and it’s really creepy.

I’m just trying to keep up with my blogging no matter how painful it is for you to read. Just don’t forget about me! Cheers!

Bucket List

Tada. Yes, the title of this post is yet another nod to the make-middle agers- feel-alive-and-rejuvenated movie genre, but I swear it is purely coincidental. As it happens, if you keep reading until the end of this, you will be privy to list of the 51 activities/accomplishments/dreams that I simply MUST achieve before my demise or this beautiful face and utterly charming personality will have been wasted on a perfectly useless human being.

Now, congratulations! As your eyes scan these oh so cleverly written lines of sort of awkward font (I didn’t realize it was all caps until I read my first post for the third time) you are witnessing history, as this is my second blog post. Ok, so it won’t make the books, but in the chronicles of Melissa this is fairly outstanding because 1. this makes double the amount of posts I’ve written on each of the four blogs I’ve previously begun and then promptly abandoned (may those failures rest in peace somewhere in the cyber universe. Also, hello progress.) and 2. I am fulfilling number 51 of the revered bucket list: Blog, for real.

I’ve spent quite some time feeling as if I’ve never accomplished anything at all. I know said feeling is entirely inaccurate as I’ve gotten to do, see and, most importantly, learn so much already in just 24 years. But it’s hard to argue with emotions, even though emotions are vastly overrated and illogical. Damn Homo sapiens. I just can’t fight the feeling. I guess it’s just because for every one thing I’ve done, seen or learned, there are 50,000,000 things left that I haven’t. There’s just so gosh darn much of this world. A lifetime is really not long enough to get it all done. Ugh.

Ok, sorry. Stay with me, please.

Without further ado, here is merely a penny’s worth of stunts I would like to pull off in the next 60 or 70 years (God willing):

1. experience pregnancy
2. adopt children
3. be an event planner (score! That’s two I can check off!)
4. be fluent in French
5. and Portuguese
6. live in a foreign country for more than a year
7. join the Peace Corps (this has almost happened. Twice. I simply have zero follow-through.)
8. climb a mountain (or just walk up it, I’m not trying to die.)
9. hide away in a very private house directly on the beach in the tropics
10. ** something scandalous about said house in #9** I won’t subject you to that. ;)
11. wear a real whale bone corset and accompanying period outfit
12. be an actress (not necessarily professionally--- I’ll take community theatre)
13. sing in public. Alone.
14. get published
15. do some kind of work for National Geographic
16. fall in love (you know, the kind of love that lasts through the centures!)
17. own a house
18. own a ridiculously large piece of land
19. invent my own completely unique recipe from scratch
20. go skydiving
21. go cliff diving
22. go parasailing (kind of whimpy, but I’ve never been!)
23. take pilot lessons
24. own a vintage Aston Martin
25. go to the Meredith Castle ruins in Wales (ancestors)
26. take my mama to the Scottish highlands
27. visit Vatican City
28. visit Jerusalem
29. have a crazy sordid love affair with an Italian (or Spanish/Portuguese/Argentinean) man
30. go to an Olympics meet
31. see Britney Spears live (don’t hate)
32. ride a mechanical bull
33. have a “The Hangover” experience in Vegas
34. take an all girls trip somewhere truly fabulous
35. have a hot body (forever a work in progress, and probably least likely to happen on this list)
36. have an Earth-shattering spiritual experience
37. visit as many places as humanly possible (kind of a cheat, I know)
38. be 100% debt free (damn you, student loans)
39. grow a garden (well hot damn, another one bites the dust- checked this bad boy off this summer)
40. make a legit family tree (almost did this on ancestry.com- went all the way back to the 1200s on one side of the family. Couldn’t finish because that shit’s expensive!)
41. take my Granny to Paula Deen’s restaurants in Savannah
42. create/complete a cross-city scavenger hunt (anyone down?)
43. collect something (like, hoarder style)
44. learn to sew (my Nana tried to teach me when I was in high school. I didn’t appreciate it then. I would give ANYTHING to have her back to teach me now. She was the best seamstress. And now I’m crying.)
45. own a vacation home
46. have a family/community farm
47. learn to play an instrument
48. cook an authentic Indian meal
49. learn to reupholster furniture
50. learn calligraphy
51. Blog, for real.

Yes, she’s ambitious. Yes, it’s not as enthralling as you were probably expecting. CONFESSION: I’m really simple when it comes down to it (shocking, I know). I feel more accountable to this list now that it’s typed (its only form prior to this was a handwritten XL index card) and permanently ‘out there.’ Hold me to this. I’ve done some pretty spectacular things. I just need to keep reminding myself of that so I don’t spend my whole existence wishing my life away. I’m most proud of these: studying in London, teaching English to an Iraqi refugee family, and being a really decent friend and sister. If I only accomplish three or four more things on this list, I will have had an amazing life. Sorry, this was so long. Cheers.

P.S. I would LOVE feedback and to hear some entries from your bucket list.